Thursday, 30 January 2014

Home Sweet Home

Despite the caffeine laced 16hr flight, my first day back in Utah has been phenomenal! Still up till midnight MT time chatting it up with the fam. My niece dressed up in her best princess ball gown, my not-yet-1yr nephew crawled/stood/rolled every which way, my parents and siblings joined in rockband between chats. 

It's incredible how quickly elapsed time is forgotten when with the people you love. I feel as though I've been home for a week (that could be attributed to sleep deprivation) with our Chamberlain crew. Tonight I sleep in pjs I lifted from my sis while my suitcase is in limbo. Till then it'll be a good excuse to pullout the old winter gear! Oh closet, I've missed you!

Given the overextended length of my travel, there is a huge relief in returning home. It's a much needed grounding among turmoil. The smiles, jokes, and ease of my family have put my anxieties to rest, which were spiked during the past few days. It makes me regret that I haven't touched base more often - and at the same time grown my appreciation for these wonderful figures in my life :)

Signs of entering U.S.A.

You know you're leaving Asia when:

- people in the baggage queue won't wait to be called
- more than a handful of your travel mates are obese
- someone in a pair of pajama pants walks down the aisle
- pasta is on the airline menu

You know you're in the states when:

- TSA gets as close to a strip search as possible
- it takes walking the entire terminal to find a non-food shop
- the airline employees have attitude
- announcements are english-only
- ... or nonexistent

You know you're on your way to Utah when:

- the flight attendant could be part of the Brady Bunch
- strangers expect to talk to each other
- only two people on the plane ask for coffee
- ... which is delivered separately
- ... and is so watered-down it's confused for tea
- adventurists somberly toast a final beer before arrival

Tuesday, 28 January 2014

X marks 'you are here'

Confidence is not courage.

Courage assumes the worst
When confidence assumes the best;
One functions through strength
The other through pride;
One is stiff
The other adaptive

I've lived in courage.

It is accepting the situation
When unsure of the self;
... How wrong I've been!
... Because all this time
I thought facing the world
Was more important than facing me

Courage has taught me to be numb.

Real power rests in accepting the self
When unsure of the situation;
Only then can one navigate with certainty
Regardless of terrain;
It is knowing who you are
Undefined by where or what

And this we call confidence.

Monday, 27 January 2014

A door now shut

There's only one other time I've felt a 'no' shake me as tremendously as today. It was in 2012 when I went to New York mid winter with my sister. This was a two week visit and I proudly brought with me a submission for publication for a 360pg book I'd written. With an overly-eager smile I asked the man at Penguin Publishing Co. if I could deliver my submission to the publishing team. It was my reason for traveling to NYC. He turned me away with directions to the mail room. Outside. Through the garage. Down a rickety elevator. And there I tossed my Manila wrapped pages into the bin while choking back tears.

My breath was equally choked this morning as I opted away from the elevator and took a slow walk down the stairs to regain my compossure. This is after I walked into the agency and was abruptly greeted with some change-of-flight options. A kick out the door for myself and another 25% of the agency's models in town. I felt transported back to that mail room and faced with a bin that might as well be labeled 'discard dreams here'.

I didn't give up on the book. Eight re-writes followed along with a wealth of writing experience I still benefit from in every email, blog, or letter I form. I don't intend to give up modeling either. I'm signed with top agencies in New York and London, armed with magazine tears from Singapore including a recent cover. I take this as a slap in the face. I let myself become stuck in the numbness of routine and it's time to wake up... *ouch*

Tuesday, 21 January 2014

"I've been very lucky, from the beginning. I've found that as long as you're fundamentally good - as long as you're not being bad to people - people give you a lot of room to be yourself, because being yourself is being honest. And that's what people want to see."

Andrew Mason

Saturday, 18 January 2014

And then there were two.

It's a small world. Imagine meeting someone in a new city - strangers thrown together by coincidence - AND THEN, what are the chances of that same coincidence happening a second time? My Tokyo roommate is my former New York roommate! A small world indeed, and getting smaller :) I'm incredibly happy to rendezvous with my Canadian friend, Blair, in a second corner of the world - we've found a cozy local cafe and talked for hours on end (an American habit I thought I'd finally kicked) joking about old times, new times, and odd times. It's inspiring to think that completely different walks of life can journey paths that intersect again and again. The world is unpredictable... odd how empowering that realization can be!

Taking time to reflect

Destiny is having to face the mirror day after day.
Fate is understanding whose eyes you are looking into.

Monday, 13 January 2014

My advice

'Why am I here?' is one of the only questions that can answered by its own echo.

Saturday, 11 January 2014

Airport tips that now seem so obvious


When preparing for a flight be sure to reserve a taxi ahead of time. This will save you from standing in the rain at 6am for forty minutes before hastily calling in an SOS from friends.


Weigh you luggage before hand. Sure you might think it fits, and you also might think you’ll have time to readjust in case it doesn’t. But you might be making it to the check-in just seconds before the cutoff. In this case- flirt like there’s no tomorrow in order to buy time!


TSA. Plan in advance to make sure all containers are within standard measurements. And avoid packing pointy objects like nail trimmers that might set off alarms. Keep your belongings neatly stowed to avoid the embarrassment of looking like a caveman as security sorts through a jumbled mess of odds and ends. 


If seated in the middle seat during a flight be considerate of those around you. This may be difficult when trying to leave your seat. And reaching over, though necessary during meal and refreshment times, is frowned upon.


Despite a wide selection of movies, opt for some sleep. This will save you from having a haggard droopy eye appearance at arrival. This is important, because you might be sent to castings straight off the plane.

Should’ve known…